HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
More
CREATE STORIES
DAILY
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
CONTENT REQUEST
LOGIN
HOT
APP
STORIES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
STORY
DAILY
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
REQUEST CONTENT
×
Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Good night and have a very Merry Christmas.
No, actually, don't tell me. I don’t want to know. What do you want?
Um, yeah. Thank you.
- Yeah? - So I thought I'd give you your present now.
Or midget.
'Cause my dad was Jewish, and we didn't have Christmas.
WOMAN: This is Dolores Axelrod. You ran into my car last week.
I am not a swoogin!!
Well, what’s one year?
or as a wonderful remembrance for friends.
- How much? - Half.
All right, small fry, help yourself.
beryl butherccino are you a distant cousin of faye's? yes.
Ooh!
When a girl says 'like' In between every word of her sentence
Merry Chirstmas
I saw you at another mall.
And I'm out on my ass now. She got half of everything.
faye what's ya maiden name? snok snok mcfunction function.
Like sexual?
Welcome. Great photo and rÈsumÈ, by the way.
They're fine. Do you have any houseguests?
Jesus Christ! Let me see it! Let me see it!
And you are in a position of trust. I think perhaps…
It's not like you helped me with that nutjob or anything. You know?
I just rent the fucking place anyway.
Yeah, that's right. Go ahead. Talk about my height.
Shut up.
Who the fuck is Thurman?
What’s for dinner?!
- Hey, wait a minute. Hey, kid? - Yeah?
Oh, yeah, shit, let's do it.
I'm busy
I like you.
So unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand, hmm?
What the fuck happened to your eye?
Use something with some claws to it.
- Like the suburbs. - Which one?
Nothing I can help you with, huh?
right for a month.
Are you sure you want to watch Napoleon Dynamite get off of me you boddagit scene? If you watch Napoleon Dynamite get off of me you boddagit scene Now. Tap Monkey Mayhem To Divide The Monkeys.
Want to play again?
Are you insane?
Would You Please Shut Up About Reindeer? Would You Please Shut Up About Reindeer?
- Another round Grand-Dad, Santa? - Yeah.
Oh, jeez.
FUCK ME SANTA
- Think somebody's onto us? - Is there anything in the room? Anything professional?
Whatever you guys do, it works. All I want is a taste.
You said you'd only hustle Big & Tall.
So, you think I did good?
When I look at you, you know what I think?
People I work with coming to talk Me
Jesus, Mother Mary, and Joseph. You pissed yourself.
- Need money to fix your sleigh? - Exactly.
What is it with you and fixing fucking sandwiches
- Hey, hey, hey. - I’m fucking leave here.
- I loved a woman who wasn't clean. - Mrs. Santa?
'Cause last year and the year before that, you didn't bring me any presents.
Oh, God damn it, I forgot about that.
I don't know what he's called exactly. But, uh, he's a little guy.
yes beryl rockkerosenerockettekeroette? what do you want? i want to do some zedding in koondoola.
When you’re sitting in the lodge and a guest asks you a question
I like ya
Well ya. Are they gonna drop you on somebody else's head?
I fucking suck at Fortnite!!! Okay?!
- I think one of them is Sneezy. There's a Dopey.... - That's the Seven Dwarfs.
They'll run you ragged
We wish you all a merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, and a joyous Kwanzaa.
Let me get some of that. Yeah, that's it.
Fuck me? Fuck you.
What do you want? What are you doing?
Santa.
Blowing snot all over everybody and fucking whatever.
- I'm no censor. - Little friend?
or Santa's little helper would've plugged his ass.
Pack your shit. Phoenix.