HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
More
CREATE STORIES
DAILY
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
CONTENT REQUEST
LOGIN
HOT
APP
STORIES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
STORY
DAILY
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
REQUEST CONTENT
×
Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Get ur shit together okay?
Willie, it's Marcus. It's that time of year again.
Hey don’t talk my needle stop it that is very hurt
I've always had a thing for Santa Claus.
Half.
Ha azt hiszi, hogy még szarabbá teheti az életemet rajta, mindent bele. Drukkolok magának.
Should I fix you some sandwiches?
in a fucking lime-green, fucking velvet elf costume,
- What the fuck? - I am not gay.
If you think you can make my fucking life any worse, go right ahead.
But thin fingers. Not the fat sausage fingers.
Okay.
I loved a woman who wasn't clean.
Drop the gun.
When the paramedics come to bag Santa up,
It will be just you and me, like roommates, you know?
You gotta be able to rely, Willie.
- Yeah. I just rent stuff, too. - Yeah?
You want to see some magic? Here. Let's watch you disappear.
Just sayin' ...stud
- You do? - I love kids.
Gee. You know what? This one, I think it's more than enough.
Like sexual?
40.
This is Andrew Kaplan again, from the collection agency.
It was like I did something constructive with my life, or something… I don't know.
If you don't tell him, you won't get a present.
What's it like at the North Pole?
Oh, Jesus!
- You're as queer as a $10 bill. - Oh really? Let me tell you something.
someone who has screaming orgasms with large women shouldn't...
They’re both great, okay?
Bye.
49! Half
What do you care what I think, huh?
Is it Grandma? Is my son all right?
- Don't fuck with my beard. - It's not real.
I said next, God damn it. This is not the DMV, all right?
Want to see my report card?
- A new bike. - A new bike. Wow. That's a new one. Excellent.
Jonathan
And I heard these...
Let me give you some news. I'm not Santa Claus, all right?
- Excuse me? - Willie.
They made her a guardian pro tem or some such shit.
When your child ask why Santa hasn't came yet
I’m sorry your gear?
- But can I have... - Get! Happy Kwanzaa.
What?
So I want you to look at my face one last fucking time.
Fucking broads.
Barb: I love tequila! Mitch: You aren't going to shit right for a week!
Yeah. It is like that, though. From when you're a kid.
I peeled you a potato. It's fucking got blood on it!
- Well, what's one point? - We split the dough right down the middle.
You flip me for some stranger who'll do it for peanuts and who happens to work with a real midget.
- Warm milk? - No.
- No criminal record. No parking tickets for Christ’s sake. - Yeah.
MAN ON TV: Not one, but two delicious rotisserie chickens.
Take it off.
What, do you think I'm some kind of pervert?
Anyway, see you soon.
who's filling in for margarita coake? desdamona landis.
Jesus, Mother Mary and Joseph
Are you saying There’s something wrong with my gear
Message three.