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I didn't have a moment of sonder until last year.
- Todd. - Meg.
Sure we all like to think there's this soul mate
Okay thank you. Drive safe.
What's the line again?
- You shouldn't. - I know.
I'd probably end up like the mother in
Oh take off your shoes.
don't hate yourself, that's sad.
I just, the library is hiring,
won't you please just give me a smile?
Listen to your girlfriend son.
Girls aren't gay-blind anymore,
- Overall yes. - Oh. Well,
Oh my God yes.
this is too soon.
Well woman, well girl.
Anyway I'm trying to be less negative
Nope but ironically we have 10,000 spoons!
That girl is something else,
- The sun. - You're afraid of the sun?
I wasn't sure it was the best idea,
So you're legit OCD right?
It's from Crate and Barrel.
and he would be a perect talent manager for Rory.
Realistically?
I dare you to give everyone at this party a lap dance.
That's why they never had any sex.
But they're probably not the jumping type.
Baby if you love me,
Pussy.
didn't have sex with a monkey.
has nothing to do with my OCD
Thank you.
but I'm actually straight.
I'm still a little bit scared of the p-word.
but if it was an emergency
I have a headache, I think it's all that snollygoster I ate.
five to 10% of whom identify as gay or bisexual.
Well every rainbow
I'm allergic, she just hates them.
and you become sad because you can no longer eat it.
Todd. I'm not ready for this,
What?
But you can't make it get on a roller coaster
Hmm. Does rape count?
Well it's our Doc night.
Okay well I don't.
Just because you can control your brain,
- I don't watch - "Will and Grace".
she keeps nagging me and she's like,
Baby if you love me,
had given up?
- Did you? - Yeah I was in every play.
Yes, no, no Todd it's still not.
I don't know why I'm here.
I know I sound like...
of a well-oiled woman.
I thought it was funny.
and wait for you to hurt me.
The only thing is,
I think they're just happy that you're happy.
for randomly meeting any one of them
You know I didn't think he liked me either.
I didn't get the Evite.
It has been so long,
- I don't know. - You're crazy.
a corporeal entity if possible.
and it never did and it really bothered me.
Trent this is Todd.
- Mexicans. - Bingo, and you all know
Or a heroin addict or just had a real crooked face like you?
You plan out all your suppers in advance.
- and we were short-handed. - Why didn't you fire Jamie?
that Korean Air flight and never look back.
and it stresses me out and the worst part
stop blocking my ass
You should have thought of that.
No.
Dad?
- kill a baby. - What?
And the thing is when I say them out loud,
I don't think that's what happens.
you are to feel pain.
No he's too fast,
so she was always gone
Except for suicidal people.
but then I met you and I don't have to scour
of "Gilmore Girls" where Lorelei calls Luke
You're confused?
more compulsions so if you could please refer me
no, I'd let Obama die.
And for me I mean,
Can I choose to punch you in the face right now?
Okay so call me back sometime or whatever. Bye.
Baby if you love me, won't you please just give me a smile?
you're definitely gay.
Fucking consummation, it's redundant.
Everything's sort of in disarray at the moment.
How about snollygoster?
Oh I heard he slept with James Dean.
and he almost got arrested and we never went back.
and you're the only person I don't mind losing to,
if you had cancer and you needed help,
- Great job. - You're really loud.
but the harsh reality is not everybody gets that.
I don't have a dad,
It's your smart people what?
he is great.
Hi yes yeah I am.
for the rest of our lives because I wanna watch you die.
I can't believe I just fucking did that.
I live with my boo,
I don't see the irony in that,
There's an inverse correlation between
and then she rolls over and accidentally smothers me.
You know I've actually never seen
but nobody knows me, nobody really knows me
named Sonny Weathers and you planned
- because its the thing - It's the thing
and motorcycles and
Heath Ledger.
What if I have homosexual anxiety OCD?
life would be so much easier.
You should write up a cost-benefit analysis.
because she really needed her best friend.
Anyway Rory makes me a better person,
Remember Jenna has a troubled past.
Sorry political labels?
- extraversion, - Sometimes.
just a little snip, snip.
Yeah most of the time.
until he got rabies and then Travis shot him
And that's denial.
the closest star excluding our sun,
I can understand not wanting to die prematurely,
Do you want my autograph?
- I'm projecting. - If Rory was a man,
- Is it? - You know Todd
Yes.
You know like isn't that why our forefathers
he just invited me because he knew I'd be available.
Nobody says that, that is rude.
no, this is the best,
- Yeah. - No Todd. Come on.
You didn't even let me finish.
and he's in banks or something
60% will find me unattractive
- He did. - No he was married
Nobody has ever been murdered
and we both hate babies.