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but if somebody put a gun to my head and they said,
we would have pregnancy clinics.
But lately I've been experiencing increased anxiety
AIDS wouldn't even exist if some fucking idiot
pragmatic he's obviously being hypothetical.
and then only one dimple.
When did it come out?
because we have these chimerical expectations
Oh imagine all the new things
why are you packing?
Oh honey come on. Not in front of the kids.
No, no, no, "2 Girls 1 Cup' is a porn,
- Oh I offend you? - Yes you offend me.
- Babe! - Hi!
I don't think you would find anyone.
and I want simultaneous orgasms,
Do you really wanna know?
Well maybe if you shaved.
we were having intimacy problems,
Baby I love you
so either you're being paranoid
Well are you even happy here?
but sexually attracted to nobody.
It came so fast.
- It's not ironic! - How can you say that?
Our names are not on the lease,
And when you'd get to be so cleaver Todd?
- from "Cat on... - "on a Hot Tin Roof".
"Oohh"
There must have been a gentler way to phrase that but yes.
- Well that sounds nice. - But I can understand,
I think we all are.
Okay you treat sex like the kid in a wheelchair.
- Nice to meet you. - We're so happy to have you.
You know pussies have juices right?
but I was like, "I'm turning 18!"
What if this is as good as it gets?
I know but he didn't feel foreign to me anymore.
and you just have to accept that.
Like that movie "As Good As It Gets".
I love you.
I don't mean that we choose who we're attracted to.
- Todd. - there is only a .0006%
It's true, they've done studies.
We both deserve more.
The latter, I don't wanna die ever.
a repressive caste system.
Yeah but it's not your job.
you're missing the point.
Or what if my fear of being gay
Honey have you seen my snollygoster?
I can say it, I just think it's vulgar.
Todd, this is too meta for me.
I could just be metro. Or a hipster.
You didn't smile on purpose, did you?
I don't think I could live with the guilt.
What if Sonny weathers wanted it to rain
I just don't give it to them.
Rory is a phenomenal actress.
Yeah I live alone.
but they have a policy against using company knives
Lucille Ball didn't make it big until she was 40!
Todd say I wanna fuck some pussy.
I hate babies. We know this. Todd, come on.
we need to talk about Kevin?
Well I think you have a very narrow definition
- Dogs? - Yes dogs,
Copy.
and I used to do cognitive behavioral therapy
Oh come on, Todd is a big boy now.
Todd what is this?
Okay nevermind Todd
Well I guess that's why my parents pay you the big bucks.
It is ironic because rain on your wedding day
who doesn't want to touch your butt.
The more you can project an air of antipathy,
30% will be in long-term relationships with each other,
Ryder, truth or dare?
Didn't you get the Evite?
- would know. - That little blond kind
What he means is you would both make excellent parents.
Doc night, is that some role play thing?
And who cares what society thinks anyway?
We could try an open relationship,
When did that happen?
Wow.
Is that a basketball person?
Well I get intrusive thoughts,
I mean we live together, we sleep together,
No have I seen you in anything?
wanna ruin our relationship with sex?
And anyway I had accepted that, that I would never
Oh it's you okay,
it's who you know or rather who knows you,
only 10% will have an IQ of 120 or higher,
You can't say fag in America.
Not the way I drive.
Todd, Todd if you don't want me to go,
if you were available.
Oh and you just know that there'd be some sleezeball
Like now or in general?
- Because - Because why?
I already know how I wanna die.
bombed and pillaged other countries
Todd, Todd what are you doing?
And you know my parents will help me
No.
It's not fun when you know all the answers.
My treat. I just wanna smell it.
I never really had the opportunity
I don't like bodily fluids.
No, God stop it.
Todd.
Parents report statistically lower levels
but if you're with me I could be persuaded.
- Pardon? - One can like "Gilmore Girls"
That's 40 in pop star years.
I normally adhere to a strict no pets policy,
Have you considered that your symptoms
So you said you're an actress,
Rory. Rory. Rory. Rory.
and I tried to bring Scene It: Turner Classics edition
you have to humiliate yourself in a way
and for two they're not always clean unless you steam them.
You can't cheat on an eye exam Todd!
You suck. Okay your turn.
That's really unsafe.
with your gay boyfriend.
"So what do you do?"
You at least gave him a blow job.
No it is true, she's just with me for the sex.
because we can't accept that we are not
Ryder. Yeah, he invited me last minute.
- Oh my God. - I mean what if she