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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Excuse me. Do you work here?
Sorry I don't know why I said that.
I know, I don't get enough
I'm sorry I know I'm projecting.
I'm projecting, I'm projecting,
my heavily accented straight man.
Francis says that
Oh right Todd this is Trent.
- my guarantee. - That better not
Especially during the hours of 10 a.m. and four p.m.
I think you're arguing semantics.
to a cognitive behavioral therapist,
People think that all we do is memorize lines,
I love you but I can't imagine spending more than
I have a problem with being alone for the rest of my life!
to help with my phobias.
Oh we shouldn't we're having a pizza tomorrow night.
to say that we're just best friends.
My first cousin once removed chiropractor's ex-wife.
It should be obvious.
Because like you haven't,
You're Paul Newman in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof".
- Three months. - Yeah that's like
how will I get anywhere when the bus is unreliable
Well it's just a theory.
- Rory? - Meg.
so I didn't want you to, last week I had sex with a girl.
Approximately eight percent of whom are men aged 20 to 30,
Todd your favorite film is "Legally Blonde".
You're so cute!
I, you know, feel bad for the animals.
I just wanna fuck the pain away kind of thing,
Who scales one to six?
Both are scenarios I refuse to accommodate.
Do you think I'm gay?
"Oh I'm so OCD I save the red skittles for last."?
Sunlight's good for your soul.
Excuse me. Do you work here?
Hi.
the thing nobody wants to talk about.
It really is.
"I gotta lookout for number one."
with the cast of "The O.C." and then she was like,
I will reject outright over various deal-breakers
that's been overblown by the media and popular culture.
Todd next week or maybe five years from now,
Historically I will choose the handicap stall
- No are you? - No.
Wow this is crazy flakes.
I'm not crying, my hand eczema is gone,
Oh well you know Ryder, he's fag-get-ful.
Should I get one, are they helpful?
but anyway it's a porn video.
but I'd also get to give up public rest rooms.
- Yes you did. - My butt, my butt dialed you.
"Hills Like White Elephants."
strip naked and let me draw flowers all over your body.
or I'll asleep and die so I wanted to see
the perfect guy some day,
It's fun for me.
What do they have in Sri Lanka?
and he's going to glare at me once he sees
motorcycles and pussy.
He's just so attentive right?
- Okay. - Yeah?
I'm just gonna sit right here,
It's not like I was mocking rape victims,
Hi it's Rory, my number is 206-377-2616,
useless, resource-consuming baby.
I'm confused. Do you want sex?
and tried to force you onto a roller coaster?
we kinda don't talk anymore, it's a bit fucked up.
to "Building a Mystery" and he called it,
No I just, it's the same reason I don't wanna have kids.
- Lucille Ball. - What about Lucille Ball?
Ah that was a smile.
You know how that movie ends right?
It would be ironic if we were eating camel.
because our Todd here has the aesthetic taste
I know. Why am I thinking that right?
Oh not yet. But I will.
I'd greatly appreciate it.
Oh I would save the baby obviously.
I can buy you a drink.
Yeah, it just wasn't right.
but you know, I mean I can try harder.
that's why they're not called functional pillows
It's like a car crash,
Oh well I'm actually not supposed to say anything,
and I just wanna be the way we were.
While there are no conclusive studies
Oh but we don't want children.
Yeah.
I'm proud of you, I just want you to know that.
Semen for the win.
nuclear missile crisis I mean that's,
- Why? - Because it would be ironic.
I know that's temporary but,
Maybe, are you familiar with the filmography
gonna learn how to eat me out?
Now you're both healthy, intelligent,
what if he was a gangbanger?
so Hollywood censored the gayness and you would know that
Making dreams come true.
We're not gonna tell you what you can and can't say.
I'm just gonna take a shower first.
What am I?
I own all the seven seasons on DVD.
And I know that you're scared that I'm going to hurt you,
How did you and Zane meet?
I organize closets, I have great references.
My skirt is beige.
But I'm not in a wheelchair.
You didn't do anything.
My middle name is pretentious.
No, no you're fine,
I would clean you up because I love you
They are so cute.
I don't know, it's just a metaphor.
but it's a bit of a drive so I wanted to see
just because you don't like
I'm just asking you to listen.
Yeah it's also a joke Todd, I read the "Iliad".
I didn't say that I think I'm gonna be murdered,
Can I ask you a personal question?
- Um... - Rory.
Rory will you...
Oh my God it means you're gay.
And I know that that's an offensive thing to say,
as I'm sure you can guess, statistically insignificant.
is considered good luck even though
No, Colleen moved to Boston.
Rory I love you.
Okay. Like that? Oh!
I support you so does Ryder.
That's disgusting.
She's your fucking Katie Holmes.