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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Do you wanna be my girlfriend?
Hi nice to meet you.
No it's the elephant in the room!
She wants me to have kids and she wants me
Well that's not allowed.
It's a waste.
Were they one per tree?
The food here sucks!
everything that is ultimately wrong with the world
its whole fucking meaning.
Okay I skimmed the "Iliad".
I've always dismissed the possibility
No.
The kind of thing you'd find at a Supercuts in Puerto Rico.
Ah I win!
- You're gay. - You don't know that.
You guys ready?
It's a hypothetical situation Craig.
My best friend was date raped in college.
Hypothetically yes.
That would never fucking happen!
and I fall asleep hugging a panda
I enjoy spanking.
us intellectually and physically and emotionally,
Everything under the sun.
- Have you? - No but I've seen
you're smart and you're funny
because I don't like sickness or endings or poop
Tonight then I guess?
Does thinking about vomit make you wanna poo?
Oh my God it is you hi!
he said so in our last session.
I used to say third but I don't wanna be unrealistic,
is to be a disgustingly rich philanthropist
Oh, sorry I just have,
Maybe you're bisexual.
Not that horny, Jerry.
in the face and he died.
We didn't just think he was gay. He was gay.
but I need you to breath. Alright?
Oh so sex is the white elephant
Yeah I try to avoid it.
like gay define me.
your girlfriend Todd.
and apparently I'm gonna see you seven more times
would you still love her?
you don't want him to say.
I almost went to Yale because of that show.
before you die.
- You shouldn't. - I know.
His character, his character was gay.
The toaster is always on unless you unplug it,
language is fluid.
Oh God look at that.
No it's not.
but you actually may be somewhat straight.
he stole a bunch of money from my nana,
You're such a tattletale.
See he's in my head!
and neither of my only two friends are taking me seriously.
I did say you were living in the Philippines,
- Not with that attitude. - Todd, I am too smart
What are you doing here?
Well I doubt many people would
Dare obviously.
- Was that a joke? - Was it not funny?
Which I get 'cause I have that, so
It's okay I'll vacuum later,
How did you find me?
Don't tell him that.
That only leaves eight potential could mates on the high end
because the smaller you are the less likely
- Get up, Todd! - I will always love you.
and I was looking for a job.
- What? - I said do
Okay first of all, who says that?
Except he got addicted to heroin,
because the truth is, and I know
I'm assuming the number is less than 25%
and I think there's a dead mouse in my garbage disposal.
And copulation is only intended for reproduction,
Right because I'm the asshole in this situation.
Your parents pay me.
18 but don't worry,
Are you sure you're a boy?
to label me so.
I'll talk to you in a second.
into a category of sexual identity
Oh right, you're still unemployed?
My momma wanted me to go to Ohio State
won't you please just just give me a smile?
Baby!
so we can eliminate the rest let's be honest.
There's a 44% chance that I'll develop
Now you're just being silly.
why she'd be attracted to Jonah
- Sesame. - Nice.
have I seen you in anything?
- Your parents? - They've had their time.
but I have an egodystonic sexual orientation
How about now?
Yeah you'd get shanked in prison, Todd.
"Taxi Driver" and "Cloverfield" so I get the idea.
Well I think so but.
It's not a hobby, it's a way of life.
Why do you even care?
You were in a porn video?
because it's considered good luck
when the UV rays are the most potent
The deal-breaker is that you have to be
So fun.
Oh yeah, yeah I own like all the seasons on DVD.
Like they were relieved that you were a girl
I already know.
He has a very high opinion of me,
and it's probably not even human sperm.
Well you can't be an actress in Seattle.
No I'm not.
- Instilled. - What?
In the play it's obvi that he has the hots for Skipper.
Todd do you like gay sex?
the feeling when you learn there's a word
"Fuck can I just do what makes me happy?"
Shut the fuck up!
Baby if you love me,
Oh well it's two girls,
was literally Bareback Ryder.
I'm watching more documentaries.