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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Hi you've reached Todd.
if you think that would help.
Would that change the meaning of pro-choice?
was supposed to fly into L.A. for my birthday,
and you clearly don't want to be a waitress so.
I'm just saying and there's plenty of literature
Why, what would you do?
Why would I hurt you when I love you?
"I Do Not Hook Up".
- Wait what? - By Ernest Hemingway.
and I kept waiting for it to happen
That made me feel really uncomfortable.
I eat meat.
God I'm so funny!
because we're the most godless generation.
24 months in bitch years,
"Hey you wanna buy some sperm?"
In sickness, and in health and you know that that says a lot
It took me three days.
Facial symmetry indicates
Okay. Oh. Yeah.
- my masculinity has been - His therapist.
Like if I work at a spoon factory
is the thing nobody wants to talk about,
- Oh yeah okay. - She doesn't have to
So are you afraid of dying too soon
What if I worked late or snuck out the back
What do you want?
I'm in the it gets worse before it gets better phase.
It's a cultural belief that a wet knot is harder to untie.
If you don't like it, there's a gift receipt.
Yes? Huh, yeah, yeah?
You don't recognize no do you?
We don't have have doc night, we don't bananagram,
I prefer to eat smaller animals like chickens,
it's like two thirtyish on a Wednesday,
Split.
that isn't like cute or endearing.
- What? - Sex let's do the sex.
I'm straight, I like bean burritos
I am having some trouble understanding
I have no buyers remorse.
Okay hypothetically this would be
but you are gonna break that poor girl's heart.
And you're no Rock Hudson.
- Hi Zane. - So updates, give, give.
- Cybill Shepherd. - Ellen Degeneres.
- Lower levels of neuroticism, - Nope.
- Hello? - Hi you called?
compared to non-parents.
You can't use your OCD as an excuse for everything.
that I'm clearly physically unafflicted.
You're right, instead of abortion clinics,
No you can't they're not always soft,
called Face Value that leverages machine learning
Hey, you know that saying shoot for the moon,
with his other guy. His name is River.
Stupid brain.
or crying or poop.
- Literally? - Well no, oh no!
Baby if you love me,
Yeah I think she's Bulgarian.
and you're clean and that's all you need.
you know that scene?
he called it the Sarah MacLacharena.
He was gay okay?
Okay ethics aside,
I'm straight.
Is it sex?
and I've never been exceptionally lucky.
How exciting. Please remind them
- Oh stop it. - No really,
- That doesn't sound good. - It's not.
poor dental hygiene and or bad taste in movies.
Did my dad seem unusually nice to you?
or you're missing an arm and a leg,
It's not very discreet,
as I sometimes say.
be jumping in their boots to die.
a series of aptitude tests.
No because you should have remembered the knife.
You're restocking the shelves.
you eat the last bite of something delicious
Yeah he's awesome.
So two out of three isn't so bad.
the elephant in the room.
Stop.
Sandra Bullock in "The Blind Side".
No would you like to join me for a cup of joe?
but rape is never funny.
Might not be true I haven't looked into it thoroughly.
I think it might have skewed the results.
so maybe sex isn't on your agenda.
but even if you wanted to experiment,
Whatever still gay!
You wouldn't expect there to be a knife
- yeah if you could, no, just - I'm sorry,
raising a well adjusted adult.
and somebody asked me if we sold paperweights
Hey Karen it's your daughter.
that Ryder is an unreliable source.
I didn't ask, you have a very symmetrical face.
Really?
socially conditioned to be gay, gay, gay.
that could obstruct our personal happiness?
I am college educated,
No.
what if I'm none of the above?
I sent them an invoice.
fucking Will and Grace on the same team?
It might be counterproductive.
- Novak Djokovic. - Ellen Degeneres.
Well that is hearsay, and as such it's inadmissible.
- What? - So we're even Steven.
Like what?
She just gave it to you?
and you're the only person I can't lose.
I said no.
He's cute though right?
Oh she's never seen me act.
to be something that you're not and it's offensive.
- She's driving to Europe? - No what?
Todd told me everybody used to think he was gay.
you wouldn't take the bus either
- No. - So Jenna has a genius IQ,
I'm out here living the dream.