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Well being normal is vastly overrated.
I am 90 and I just won my second Oscar,
You know that handful of words that you overuse
I should lie down.
I have a great sense of humor,
number, time and date you called in that order,
and I must be dreaming,
Just thought I'd drop you a line.
just give me a smile?
My mom wants me to have kids.
if you feel obliged to pigeonhole me
That's not a point.
Ready.
I didn't know that.
if "The Fifth Element" had been dick?
Nicole, will you just stick around for a little bit?
Are your hands getting tired?
Partly yes, mostly no.
my worst offenders are emblematic and perspicacity.
is a primitive national pastime
I don't need to go anywhere.
You watch "Gilmore Girls"?
Fuck I'm horny.
I'm just saying how funny would it have been
- Really? - Yeah!
just the fact that nobody ever said,
You look so pretty, who are you?
suppressed by my own precognitions of sexual identity,
Oh I'm glad you asked.
it's your job to magically relate everything to my problems.
- No it is. - It's emotionally exhausting
You're like that dog Old Yeller.
You said you didn't want sex.
It's not from Crate and Barrel.
You don't do that do you?
we know that I think intercourse
like that movie "The Way We Were"
Which is basically a gay horse.
We could go home and play
Okay now that's actually genius.
I don't mean existentially, specifically L.A.
Oh wait, you have cancer?
Baby if you love me,
Okay.
Well unborn baby, abortion,
but I'm the new face of the Squatty Potty.
What was the first?
The Trojan horse wasn't in the "Iliad".
to back me up on this.
They just like, they love me too much to see me suffer.
and then I'll meet you guys there.
- your crumbs are falling. - Sorry.
- over and over in my head. - No, no, no, for work,
And why do you think that is?
Well we just got back from San Diego.
you can't win.
But you know what, I bet somebody else bailed and
How do you spell that?
Maybe I wouldn't have been loyal to her.
Like that Kelly Clarkson song,
- A baby? - I would definitely
You're attractive in an ordinary sort of way.
She's transpired an entire generation of adolescents
- Sonder. - That's a great word.
I didn't pick up on that at all.
In on what?
- Todd. - and integrating the
Don't take this the wrong way,
fucking student films where everything is a dream,
things going in and out of my holes,
because I'm a total bottom.
Well that's okay. I'm depressed too.
I don't know what your problem is with me.
Oh I though that was gonna be one of those movies
I'm not bragging I only got my hand in.
It hasn't lost its meaning, it's just evolved,
I don't know about that.
Because if you love someone enough,
and they said "Kill this baby
"Hey does anybody have a knife?"
what else do you need to know?
- Schadenfreude obviously. - Or Jouska.
And this is my boo Zane.
You're making me uncomfortable.
Yeah sorry,
You're fine.
who just causally toss the word around
Yes.
Weak, weak choice.
the likelier it is to happen.
Could be.
Great. Okay, hi. Excuse me I'm sorry,
I just made that number up.
You're really not going to admit it?
It was like that scene in "Alien"
But it was just Isla Fischer. So.
You cannot advance society by debasing natural human rights.
Yes I would know, thank you.
Oh no I didn't mean, no.
Todd has been MIA forever.
Six point two.
I think you just see subliminal homosexuality
Okay? There is no evidence.
Well what do you want?
I'm undergoing a severe sexual identity crisis
No, no I mean yes,
So I have an obsessive irrational fear of being gay
Really I'm not.
Yup, yup, yup that's happening.
- you really hit the jackpot. - Thank you.
No I'm not.
So does that mean I'm not gay?
It's true, they've done studies.
It didn't rain. So that's positive.
- let me finish. - No I will not marry you!
The other day I was re-reading "The Life-Changing Magic
- don't. - Okay.
he sucked Jerry's gay willy willingly.
Rory how did you two meet?