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I don't know.
- What? - I would have fired you
But you're a great actress.
Me too.
Because you're not listening to me.
I'm so glad we had this talk.
Your date rape friend?
Then Todd I think you might be gay.
I would've guessed Hungarian.
and I was like, "I know I'm sorry."
Okay both of you stop.
that you haven't found yourself.
I'm sorry I missed you but please leave your name,
I dare you to switch clothes with me.
when you got in but Jamie called in sick,
I don't have to answer that.
We're doing cake bitches.
Oh I thought I saw Amy Adams at Trader Joes.
so take a minute and then we'll try again.
with one of your organs, would you?
Why am I telling you this?
Is this seat taken?
Why would James Bond make me kill a baby?
Pleased to meet you, I'm Topanga.
My problem with you Todd,
It is a school night!
we're just throwing the towel early.
All right here's why you have kids.
Truth or dare.
- It's convincing. - I can practice later.
but don't spaz I'm sure he won't say anything
you could meet the right guy.
you sucked Jerry's gay willy willingly.
- Oh my God yes. - You can't book anything
or I'm gonna kill you", what would you do?
Todd I'm sorry.
Afraid of the truth Todd?
- when they're in love. - When they're in love.
the gay people you've been meeting.
that exactly describes what you're feeling.
implementation would be impossible.
What's the difference?
He's also a model but mostly underwear.
sure, but it's not like a heart transplant.
it's the second door on your right.
I knew it.
- we wanna get rid of. - we wanna get rid of okay,
Okay I'm sorry, why are you getting so angry?
Is that what the world needs to hear?
What about Jerry?
Good for you.
I'd be like, "Hey sorry man,
You've been a bad, bad boy Jerry.
I don't think that I'm that transparent,
how'd you pay rent?
Are you?
on any given day over the next half century
complaining about how I was gonna be alone forever.
Oh I found this cool website called SeeYourFolks.com
No I'm completely alone.
Yeah he's okay.
And how would you like me to extrapolate that statement?
Okay it's on a shelf but you have a gun,
And that's why.
Don't lecture me, I know it's fucked.
You know Todd,
Anyway you have to come.
the fucking cake with Todd that would be ironic.
and those are things you can't give.
Every Thursday we watch a documentary
Right. Preston is pretentious.
You can find all those qualities in a decorative pillow.
Okay are you ready?
I've slept with bisexuals.
He's lying.
What if a very smart, beautiful woman married a stupid man?
This is a real relationship.
- I'm not. - Well that's your
So you have a biological imperative
It keeps shutting me down.
Work is good, my boss wanted me to decorate my cubicle.
a couple of licks and it didn't mean anything.
our friend Socrates?
Arguing about an Alanis Morissette song
Well apparently I can't be one here either.
Oh I'm just kidding sorry,
Well it wouldn't be ironic.
because there's been no fucking consummation.
I mean if Helen Keller can learn to talk,
So it's like hell yeah no more day job!
- Okay. - And no frowning
What kind of bagel are you having?
I have a deviated septum,
and carpooled to Chipotle?
I'm sorry, ignore me,
You're all very talented but show's over.
And you must be Rory.
Every male should have a vasectomy at birth,
we have a video of Todd doing the Macarena
Rory is the first girl that you've brought home.
Do you come here a lot?
- Baby did you and Todd ever? - No.
Baby I love you but I just can't smile.
Are you happy?
- Or Gandhi. - Maybe Harriet Tubman
so I'm gonna sandwich technique this for you.
"every year for a female troll."
Stop making Paul Newman gay.
Also objectively to a random bystander who didn't know
Stop I love already.
like Paul Newman and trying to be Paul Newman all the time
a surgeon for doctor's without boarders
Yes it is, it's derived from the short story,
- You were enough. - Rory name a social issue.
Well you tell it better.
because I like to talk a lot,
Oh yeah, yeah lots of times.
I bet he's one of those guys
White on rice.
and you give great back massages which let's be honest,
I didn't know if you could get away with auditions and all.
If you met a man with all of Rory's qualities,
Oh I do save the red skittles for last.
but I'm sure he would love you.
Okay fine but if you get bored and you wanna leave,
No you're mixed up, the white elephant is the unborn baby.
Hey, are you okay?
my dad wouldn't hug me, he'd just shake my hand.
And I don't recall you attempting to sex me either
- Okay thanks. - Yeah bye-bye.
Todd, hey Todd.
Yeah well.
Todd!
it's just like why?
that you can easily apprehend.
passionate sex is a hurdle for any couple.
this isn't the '60s.
But seriously if I died now
that millennials over share
You don't put toast in a toaster.
That was good Rory.
- Abortion. - Okay yes.