HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
More
CREATE STORIES
DAILY
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
CONTENT REQUEST
LOGIN
HOT
APP
STORIES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
STORY
DAILY
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
REQUEST CONTENT
×
Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Got him, like, looking like Thurston Howell too. Eh ....
- Yes. - Whoo!
Oh, my God.
When an eight surrounds herself with less attractive women...
You said Jeffy’s a bad boy? You’re a bad boy!
Never occurred to you that the wife and three kids...
They all went out to some party. Come on in.
- What can I get you? - Can I get three tequila shots, please?
Where?
What are you doing, man? Come on.
Did we skip five holes?
Wait a second, wait. Where's Coakley?
All right, here we are.
I'm just a /icky girl
I'm legal now.
They've just added this porch.
...or, like, see Kathy Griffin in concert.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice
Why would I need a hall pass, huh? I got you!
"That Woman Needs Something In Her Mouth."
Hey, genie, can you make my dick work?
Gary was talk-- Who was he talking about it to?
They've actually got a bar there, so I always grab a beer after my workout.
I'm kidding. A joke. Come on.
...but it didn't really bother me. it actually felt good.
Then she gives that tiny little pelvic arch thrust...
...then the whole concept is dead.
Okay.
Well, if that's what you're getting at I'm not gonna say no.
Shake it, shake it, Mama You the one for me
I'm just saying, that is very cool.
Good night. Thank you.
You are not getting a hall pass. So you can cut the bullshit.
Hey, where are the guys?
This hall pass.
You dip them in water, heat them up, and put them on pressure--
Do you have a shot count?
Okay. Uh, goodbye. Mwah.
Licky like a sexy ear
No, it wasn't.
- What the hell took you so long? - I couldn't find my umbrella.
Fucking hell.
People that know us just a little bit. Like in a casual surface-y kind of way.
Hey, girl.
Come on. Guys, come on, let's go. Let's pick it up.
I say we, uh, tie a bow on it and put her to bed.
I thought when we got married that it would stop, but it doesn't. it's just-- it's there.
The end.
Wait a second, you wanna quit?
No, no, she did.
Sure.
- No, you weren't. - Yeah, I was.
- Are you okay? - I don't wanna get into all the details...
- I'll tell you this. I do remember this. - What's up with this shit?
I like you too, Gerry.
Oh, God.
Oh. This fucking guy.
When they don't know us that well.
...this internet dating thing is.
That seems a little stiff.
Came close, but kids were awake when we got home.
- The whole thing is just embarrassing. - Stop it.
I mean, it's cute, but it's really sad.
What, is that your adult voice? That would be inappropriate, Paige.
Ah, ah, ah.
This is tricky because, obviously, getting a blow job from a guy, you know, is bad...
Jump up.
But also, what they've just put in is a new bike trail--
- A what? - One week off from marriage.
Oh, my God!
No.
- Well-- Kind of-- - We-- Sort of--
We didn't know what was going on because he came in through the window.
I'm just saying, maybe a little freedom would be good for them, and for you.
I only got one shot at this, all right?
...and they begin to believe that if not for you...
Here comes Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
- Up for it? - Yeah.
It's a principle in psychology which says...
- Still married. - Oh, is she? Great. I'm glad it worked out.
Uh, well, I don't really squat. I just run on the hamster wheel after work every day.
What kind of gif maker do you use
He came over last night. Drank some wine.
Pound it.
I sent him home. He's fine now.
Besides, if you pay for golf you get full access to the resort, including the pool bar.
It's just...
You fucking kidding me?
Jump up.
All right.
Tres showing up at the OCC driving range tomorrow
Yeah, me too.
Guys, attempt to be cool.
Cheezborger need to peeing on bush. Hold on for a second. Aah!!! I’m not selfish anymore! I’m peeing on bush!
- Thank you, Eddie. - Ha, ha. Hey, Dad.
...because of some bullshit agreement you had with your wife?
I'll fucking kill you! Come here!
I won. Uh.
- Okay, now we got two of them. - I don't care!
Another thing? After you've lost your parents' money...
The floors are French limestone and the counter tops are Brazilian granite.
How come Mommy doesn't wear a bikini anymore?
Hog-Head, please, man. You don't have $7500.
Hey Matt. Even with a boner, this guys willy looks tiny compared to yours
Look, I saw her car in the parking lot. I know she's here.
Well, you know, she's a good kid. She's a good kid and I do what I can for the kids.
Huh?
Wow.
So I guess the real question becomes...
Well, are you gonna throw up?
They said she was in a oar accident and they took her to the hospital.
Can I get a rub-and-tug and finish off with a tea bag, please?
We're getting cut on by the Joy Luck Club.
Yeah!
- Okay. Mm. - Very nice seeing you.
Britney's? No way, those are like Baja miles.
Smooth sailing.
I'm thinking she'll remember it, and it gets a little bit complicated...
Hmm.
- Wanna near something funnier? - Yeah.
- Huh? - it's called the reactance theory.
- Where nothing is good - Shh, shh, shh.
"I started wondering, who is he gonna be thinking about when we're having sex?"
Well, come on, Flats, I can't very well bring a bunch of models back to my place.
I can grant you this wish and make like it never happened.
Licky like a tangerine
Whoa. Greased Lightning, take your foot off the gas. These things take time.
And I know Hogwarts right here would pay more.
Wasn’t a question
Oh, yeah.
...they just want to do it more than ever.
Oh, my God.
She walked by and I glanced back for like half a second.
And they danced
Mm.
- We're on the sixth hole. - They're cutting.
Will I see again?
- Oh! - Whoa.
You're kidding. You don't-- You've never done that before?
I really don't like kids.
Can you believe all the talent here today?
It's not the way you think. it's more like a curse. it's something you can't help.
- Answer Flats. - What's the question?