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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Oh, wait a second, Eddie. First I want to show them my headquarters.
...because when I look at you, my wiener doubles in size.
Yeah, thanks for piling on.
You know that moment when you're taking a girl's panties off for the very first time...
- Vote? - No. The other thing.
This guy right here's got all the loot.
- Rick. - Rick.
Sorry, but if I let you in I'm gonna lose my job.
What?
Okay, look. I did not stop because there's a lunatic out there trying to kill us!
No, I'll get up with the kids. I'll take them to the park.
- Let me log out. - You log out.
Funny moment Hall pass
Hey, I thought you said Fred isn't a gawker.
- Well .... - Come on, she's scared.
Yeah, that's not what I was saying. I said--
Golly, that is soft. Hey, Hog-Head, come here, man.
Okay.
I did a crawl-by.
You get a hand job from her, you need the Jaws of Life to get you out of it.
LAUGHS]
Oh, yeah? This morning you left the computer on Cock Gobblers.Com
Maybe you were right. We should just call it quits...
- Why aren't you guys staying here? - Too pricey.
You say no to me?
No, I disagree.
And?
God, she scared me to death.
Okay, Paige. Enough, please.
I mean, unless it's that weird fetish stuff where the women are, like, 40. Ha, ha.
Come on. You're not gonna lose your job.
- Oh. - Plus, I had a bunch of drinks at the club.
- I assume the genie could help with that? - Oh. I got you.
Swerve! Swerve! Swerve!
Cops! Run for it! Cutters!
Mommy did.
...for a weekend, hmm?
My body just feels like jelly.
I appreciate that.
There you are.
Enjoy your two-Splenda'd iced coffee, mister. Hmm?
That's not respectful!
You know what I love about divorcées?
Oh, thank God, you're still awake.
I call it headquarters.
You know, this whole kind of I'm-on-the-inside, too-cool-for-school...
george i told ya not to get a string and get a tooth and pull! boing good riddance faye you goxel droxel!
What's that?
Sorry about that, big man.
Okay, look. Look, whatever happened this week doesn't matter. Okay?
I'll do it, okay? Tennis elbow be damned. I will do it.
You gotta feel Rick's skin, feel how soft it is.
...
Our first friend to win an award.
Please don't have a nice-- Oh, come on, man.
This is really her call, Fred.
...he wasn't noticing me anymore.
You know what I miss the most?
Completely harmless. One-time thing. What would you pay?
- Hey, Maggie. - Hey, how's it going?
No, no, no. Don't be ridiculous. It was just a misunderstanding.
Gunnar and Emma stalled for a while, but they weren't too bad.
Look at those meatheads checking out Missy.
Okay, where to now?
You have morals.
A question to you, Frederick, sir.
Got a little bit of extra middle Right around the waist
I said, rub, no tug.
How does your wife catch you checking out another girl?
You know what? Screw you, Fred.
Guys, it's all right if you strike out.
- You know what Grace made me do? - What?
Unless she needs room for a $5 foot-long.
I mean, I can't accept this.
What, like a trial separation? You are seriously overreacting.
It's true.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- I love that picture. - Yeah. Yeah.
I can't. Grace will know I'm lying. She always knows when I'm lying.
And then we had kids. Emma, Gunnar and Mac.
I can't do this. I can't do this, I'm sorry.
- Shit! - He's up. He's up.
More tongue. More tongue.
- You're right, we're too stiff. - I know.
Guess what. it's guys like me that hire.
I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna get.
Even in college it took 50 rejections for every one score.
Go, go, go!
Yeah. I just-- I got a little chest cramp, but I'm working through it.
They're home!
- I'm not stopping till I get to Grace. - Are you crazy?
I think I can do better.
It'd probably be really uncool if I didn't--
Me the first night back
- You open, Rick. - I know.
And it's where we first got to know each other.
I actually think it's cool of you to be staying at the Comfy Nite Inn...
What are you, Knight Rider?
Kid's right.
- Goodbye! - You are the man tonight.
Would you like to try the Australian kiss?
Uh.... No, no. Everything's not okay. Uh.... No, no. Everything's not okay.
It ain't exactly an aphrodisiac for babes.
I got a hall pass.
VK
They're her kids.
Wasn't a question.
...before I do the whole marriage trip, you know?
My stomach's rumbling and I'm having these shooting pains.
- I've got hall pass. I have a hall pass. - He's got a gun!
Well, I was embarrassed for Fred, to be honest. It was uncomfortable.
It's not vicarious if you're actually doing it, Hog-Head.
What guy isn't gonna wanna be with a beautiful woman...
If you wanna take another look...
Brent Westsmoreland
I've gotta have a way to get the money out of the checking account.
No, how much?
Aah.
- There. You look pretty, Daddy. - Good.
- Now? - Right now, man. The universe is calling.
Hey, hey, talking of babes, which one have you got your eyes on?
Aww what's the matter? You can't get any bigger ya little BITCH
Give me a big hug and a kiss.
...that this 40-hour-week motherfucking soccer dad took my girl...
Because I'm a married woman, Gerry, you know that.
Let's talk about Miley Cyrus. Who's got a stripper pole?
Coakley is in Arizona, attending the Hawaiian Tropic regionals.
Fred, go in there and take care of that woman. You're lucky to have her.
Gyros. However the hell you say it. Heh, heh.
Uh, you know what? I'm sorry.
Take her wherever she wants to go. Here you are.
- We're a couple of show ponies, aren't we? - Yeah, we came alive!
Well, you know, the law's pretty clear on this.
How about you? How long have you been off the market?
- Who? - Coakley.
- Play through! - Play through.
- Ha, ha. You'd be Hef. - Yeah, I got that.
Your unique barista skills have been requested.