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Empty the register and don't do anything stupid.
I followed you this morning. I saw you get into a cab
So that night after dinner, I decided to get my own costume out.
Hey, what are you doing, man?
Don't worry about me.
I'm glad you got that out of your system.
Same five lowlifes every week. They're not even hard to find.
- What the hell, Eyal? - It's fine, Chris.
He called it the sick stick.
Are you not scared? To die?
Go take a seat. Alright?
I know Hit-Girl couldn't give a shit about what high school girls are into.
Come on.
Oh, my God!
My name is, umm, Simon.
A freshman, Dave! You salty dog.
That, was for the colonel.
a strong, independent woman is capable of?
- I think I got her. - Go check!
Like we were driving towards something.
What's that? A ghetto cellphone?
My life is gonna rock. And yours is gonna suck.
- This conversation, is over. - Great! Then I'm leaving.
Yeah, you just come home from work, you grab your gear and you go out on patrol.
- Who? - Mr. Lizewski, he's Kick-Ass' dad.
Anybody out here?
you got frog eye."
I know. Tonight, you die.
I promise.
There wasn't much action those nights.
What is wrong with you, dude? This is not a comic book, it's real-life!
- You are? - I am.
I think you mean ten.
I can't. It's to do with the Kick-Ass thing.
You threw away my Red Mist costume, God!
While I've been tryin' to get family back on track for many years...
Maybe it was time for me to stop crashing at Marty's, and start apologizing.
Eat it yea Ur mum is dead I wish you were dead mommy
But Big Daddy, that was not your father, okay?
but if you really think I'd ever break my word,
Yo!
- What? - Yeah, he just gave himself up.
Eisenhower, at the ready.
My dad was a crime boss, so it just makes sense...
Mrs. Napier said she thought she saw you leaving at 2 in the morning.
I never made varsity football, or got cast in the school play.
It's taking that pain and turning it into something good.
The reality of being a superhero, is lots of patrols.
Special.
15 ditching 20, pervert.
Want me to kill his dog?
And not some punk in a wetsuit playing dress-up.
Sure, he wasn't Hit-Girl, but I had to start somewhere.
Come on!
You can't go.
- When are you gonna grow up? - If it means turning into you, never.
Eat it yea Hdhdhdidudhgd
I'm sorry, what?
You just have to be brave.
What was that?
Oh ho, yeah!
Black Death.
- I know who I am now. - Oh, yeah? And who's that?
Don't go!
Marcus, he wants to burn the city down.
- Thanks. - You're welcome.
I don't wear that mask 'cause I'm ashamed of who I am. Not like you.
What's wrong?
His baton is so much bigger than Kick-Ass'
Eat it yea Hdhdhdidudhgd
The last thing I promised my dad, was that I was gonna give this up.
That I'm willing to pay top-dollar for every hired hitter in town.
Who's just as bad as the worst criminal scum.
Get out there!
I just hope that we get the chance to say hello to this guy someday
- Where are the girls? - Come on, man. I've got a heart problem.
Call him The Tumor.
I was getting kinda nervous about being on my own.
Holy shit, you don't know?
but when it comes to boys, we're all the same.
- What the hell's frog eye? - Male cameltoe.
- You really think he got a shot? - I wouldn't take his money if I didn't.
I want you to give a message to your boyfriend.
Did you say that we're going up against five gangsters?
You got this, Motherfucker!
You gotta ease up, I think I might've broken a rib.
Game on, cocksuckers.
Oh, I got it. I got it. I got it.
You got to find me some badass MMA types to train me, okay?
You want money? There's fifty grand in the table.
Hey, you're like a ninja.
Let's hope he can handle tonight.
Don't screw me on this, okay? You said we'd be running in two days,
- Watch it! - Watch me end your life!
- Hey, what the hell are you thinking? - Yeah? I can ask you the same thing.
It's more important that you stay out of this.
we don't even have a men's wing yet.
Alright, party people! We are gonna kill Kick-Ass,
Are you really that stupid?
Or did we just finish something that began, when I first put on this mask?
Oh, my God.
- The Toxic Mega-Cunts. - Hi.
Thanks for letting me finally take you out.
- Mindy! I'm sorry. - Is there a problem, Mind?