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Like the first time Big Daddy sent me into a crack den with nothing but a pen knife?
No, what did you think of my line?
the heavy bag and start hitting the streets.
- Me? - Yeah.
- Mindy? - Dave?
- And you'll do anything I say. - Anything.
Okay.
You wanna go 5 bucks each so we can send flowers from the team?
But maybe... maybe that's the real meaning of being a superhero.
There's nothing you can do that'll make me talk.
Why? You just taught me everything I needed to know.
Mother Russia and Motherfucker both on the same team? That doesn't work, Chris.
I just don't understand why people feel the need to use that kind of language.
It doesn't matter what costume I wear, yours or mine.
We're gonna find these assholes and make this right.
- You sure? - Yeah. I mean they belong to you, right?
There's two of you, and a whole army of us.
Because Thursday night is poker night.
Yeah! Sure, umm...
I became a superhero because of Kick-Ass.
Could you ladies excuse us for a second?
mugged and killed coming home from the opera.
- Go to hell, Dave. - What? You know I'm right.
Alright, we got a Katryna Dubrovsky.
If I ever catch you robbing again, shitburger,
But suddenly, it was serious.
Just, get on the ground!
I'm alive!
Sweet Ryan Seacrest. You at least kissed him, right?
I don't think my beautiful ass would last too long in prison.
You gotta quit with the racist stereotypes, Chris.
There is no such thing, Dave. This is the real world, with real consequences.
- And by baton, I mean penis. - Yeah, I got that, thanks.
- Some people do a lot worse. - Oh, the people you hang out with?
God, okay, I'm just... I'm not in the mood!
Jesus, Dave. Drugs would have been better. This is deranged.
Not you or Red Mist. It was my Daddy.
I just, I didn't think you guys would let me
You wanna hit with open palm!
Get some!
It's just their way of, how you say, settling into their environment.
Let me show you what real evil looks like.
You're the best, man!
join the team unless I had a good story, too.
Oh, sweet Jesus.
And that's for my dad.
Well, if you really wanna be popular, consider two little words:
Take your next right, comes out on Flatbush.
Oh, shit.
They're not your sidekicks, Chris. They're prostitutes and witnesses. Come on.
I couldn't do this without you.
Easy! Genghis Carnage! Come on!
I'm so embarrassed.
Hey, watch out!
Are you on drugs?
I love you too, Dad.
Once they pulled up, he must've been feeling pretty damn vindicated.
Marcus, he gave me a gift. A gift that I can't escape no matter how hard I try.
That all you got?
- What the hell are you doing? - Saving your whiny ass.
Insect Man, I want you right behind me.
We were training to really do it.
But you started this.
And I told him no one would notice when he was gone.
- Who are you supposed to be? - I'm The Motherfucker!
What the hell, mom? Did you delete the news off the DVR?
No, that's why we brought our friends.
But we got nothing.
Together, we can make a real difference.
Sweetie, you know skipping school is not a way to get boys to like you.
No, hey, it'll just make things worse. Look,
Oh, my God, Marty?
Freeze!
You ready for your first field test?