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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
- It hurts! - Yeah, there's a dog on your balls.
Pants on fire.
Come on, Javier, be cool.
- People need you. - They've got you now.
Yeah, I don't know what kind of superhero Night Whore is,
But the truth is, the only person who I really wanted on the team was Mindy.
It's a date.
That's weird. Chris D'Amico just texted me a picture.
- He's little, and he kills. - Right.
So, you girls have some fun, and I'll pick you up in the morning, okay?
Oh, God.
Fuck, I don't care how much it costs.
So that means I can't get involved.
Chris, your tu...
- Definitely, definitely, don't wanna keep those! - No, no, I'll take care of it!
- Can I wear this to Logan's? - Yay! It's gonna be so much fun.
Go ahead and shoot me, you little bitch.
Yeah, let's take a break, guys! Come on.
Archetypes. Keep going.
Run! I'll tell them you saved me. Go!
Where you'd sip your first beer and, finally suck face for the first time?
Mindy!
C'mon. There's a van waiting outside from the women's shelter.
- This is where you dump a dead body. - What's your problem?
Yeah, I promise.
He knew he might have to make the ultimate sacrifice one day.
It's definitely dead. It says on the internet, you're supposed keep it on freshwater.
You're never gonna have a normal life,
You're not a supervillain if you don't have a plan to destroy the city.
You showed us that every man can make a difference.
Is it weird that Aunt May gets me kinda hard?
You've never kissed a boy, have you?
It's just...
You don't understand. He's doing this to protect me. Dad!
I mean, there was always a little action, with Night Bitch.
You're pants are so tight, you got frog eye.
Not for long.
Eisenhower.
Without Kick-Ass, none of us would be here.
You just gotta try.
Hope to die.
No, it's fine. I'm not looking for revenge.
- Dave, I can't. - I know, you promised your dad.
That's amazing!
I gotta ask. You're my best bud and you're growing up so fast.
He's been bragging on the web about what they did to the Colonel.
Whoa!
- Goddamn it! Javier! - What happened?
I'll let you in on a little secret.
Get down!
Okay, Mind, he's here.
I'm just trying a call. There's, no, uh, service around here?
- Get off me, I was winning! - No, you were crying.
- You two know each other? - Yeah, like, since we were five.
Yay! You made it.
Hello, Night Bitch!
Are you ready to die, little girl?
You made this real. You started it! Now I'm gonna finish it.
- Just, just be careful, alright? - Yeah.
That sad sack is not Kick-Ass. I've seen Kick-Ass, he's at my age.
- God! - Run, Kick-Ass! Run!
This is the single greatest thing I've ever seen.
Oh, I'm leaving. That's what you do when you grow up.
Stupid gash. It's posted on a superhero page that she's dating Kick-Ass.
There are people out there who wanna kill Kick-Ass.
Last resort really isn't my style.
- That's my Dad! - Your dad's Kick-Ass?
Chris has an army.
You know what, screw you guys.
Your dad was insane. You know that, right?
You are superhero. You help people. You do not hurt them.
I'll be the one with the slit wrists.
Just get them costumes and get them ready.
What is the point of wearing a mask if you can't do what you want?
They couldn't find him.
The cops did show up at dad's funeral.
Hey, woah, absolutely not. No.
Are you kidding me? That's why I contacted you.
- Come on. Do something. - Let's take a break.
Dude, you got a secret elevator through underground headquarters.