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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
TED: Take it easy.
Go. Take Columbus to Herald and get on the expressway.
That's a great story I felt like I was there
Oh, my God!
hhh hhhhhh
You're just like the Baby Jesus.
that made him feel as if he finally had a friend
Illumination!
There we go.
I thought you were going to be funnier.
I now pronounce you man and wife.
And you can call me any time, okay?
It's easy.
I got a shitty job, and I assure you, lam quite content.
I wonder who it's going to hit first.
getting me down and things are tough,
the first item on our agenda is,
I'm gonna dock you for dinging the car
What?
it was a huge misunderstanding,
Howard how old are you bring the Michelin Man into our house you're grounded No TV no fortnite no Minecraft no South Park
You're not giving anything a chance
God damn it! I'm here on business!
I'm going to rattle off some names
you're going to make me choose some kind of loyalty to you
(SIGHS)
and who do you think is with him? Sam Jones.
What's going on?
Hey, Greenbaum!
Hey, squirt, how you doing? Where's your bunny rabbit?
(COUGHS)
The old... Yeah, yeah.
Timmy tuts-fucking-pin!!
well mary-jane no matter how many cups of tea a day you drink to measure yourself out too you'll still gain weight anyway. now aren't you glad i gave viv that diet plan? very. after all her ammybloodyanasersia got the better of her and boy don't only i know it. and she's not the only one i spiked her tennis now she can't get the mump.
Yes, ma'am. Thank you for the opportunity, Miss...
Daddy!
Ed thought I was ALF, and he kept muttering anti-Semitic comments.
That's great. That is great.
Fuck! Shit.
Listen.
Hey, how are you holding up?
Jesus, lam so sorry. I didn't see you. It was an accident.
You're just like the baby jesus
Screw you, pal. I belong to John Bennett.
Look, we're very interested in the bear.
Hey, Sam, this is the guy I was telling you about.
Teddy Rux-Fucking-Pin
but they don't have a gong or nothing, so it's not too bad.
And I do love her, Ted.
Well, it's not true, okay? I'm an elegant broad.
JOHN: There he is. Pull over.
(SIGHS) Look, John loves you very much,
and the guy down at the store told me
Like one of those gay beat-up clubs or something?
that you haven't always seen Lori as a threat to our friendship.
They found the missing hikers.
I actually went through something like this with my last boyfriend.
Legit Legit
Fuck!
I love the boys and it's so epic and awesome
Are you going to do it?
YOU did it.
All I do is smoke pot and watch movies with a teddy-fucking-bear.
Really? Yeah.
Usicheke hadi Uonekane jino la mwisho
Plus, you are a huge catch.
Polly Joe
No, Mom, he's really alive. Look.
RECORDED TOY VOICE: I love you!
(SINGING)
I'm coming.
Oh yea! Austria can do no wrong!!!
17’-6”!
There is...
Ch, my God, yes! Ch, my God, yes!
You owe me lobster money.
Johnny!
I don't know if I can drive!
I have tickets to Norah Jones at the Hatch Shell tonight
But I can give you love, and rocking horses,
You're going to be okay, buddy. Do you understand?
Who's that over there?
Yeah. Me, too.
Okay, here's a test to see how much you actually care about me.
You wished for my life back.
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
All right, this is one man to another.
Savannah, Kasey, Dolly, Kendra, Carla, Chloe, Devon, Emmylou.
and died of Lou Gehrig's disease.
I don't know. I dig chicks, man.
Boom. That's me and Skerritt.
Still better than Katy Perry.
Daddy punished me for it.
Come on. It's not that bad, okay?
we crushed its ribcage and blew out its lungs trying to give it CPR.
I'm going to have sex with your girlfriend.
and when I hit it, fucking buzz it.
Hey, Ted. (EXCLAIMS)
Screw this film kindergarten cop is a gazillion times better
Jesus Christ! What the fuck, man?
Can I... Just give me the car keys.
Except an Apache helicopter.
(THUNDER CRASHING)
And slapping my nuts watch this And the land before time and littlefoot fu and be cool and children of men and inside man and Maggie and the ferocious beast and lizzie McGuire and big fat sanoussi
What the fuck?
I got to go.
I told my weed guy to step it up and he gave me that.
I fucked her with a parsnip last week
Oh, fuck that! It's been four years, Johnny.
This is a rant on Season 3 of the Boys. What is this?! This season needs to suck! So extremely homophobic, Insanely disgusting! I never wanna watch this season! Season 1, season 2, and season 4 are much better.
Back off, Susan Boyle!
You can't get me Meilin Lee Cause you just Miriam's Farts
Tigger, how dare you see Ted? You know that Ted is disgusting! That’s it! You’re grounded grounded grounded for 10 weeks!
Come on. She'll go home,
Do I dare look at the clock?
eating potato salad off of Tami-Lynn's bare bottom.
This is a rant on The Boys. This show is so- God dammit, whoever you are. You just ranted on the boys. You should know by now that this show is not homophobic.
that took guts we need guts
Johnny, it's the truth, I'm telling you.
I think you're being a little more fair to him.
but you've got to believe me it wasn't all his fault.
We're totally safe. (THUNDER RUMBLING)
If you think that by making shit like that up
Stop it! Fuck! Why you got to take it to that place?
(LAUGHING)
John, look, don't you think after four years
Oh shit 9/11 I gotta get high
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the orchestra
Ha-ha. No, just you homos.
A magical Christmas wish is amazing! Jesus went to the cross. You're making me miss out on snowy fields. So Christmas is a holiday! Merry Christmas, dude!
What I think when Bryce tells me he works so much
Hey.
Tourettes Guy, Tourettes Guy, Going! Going!
You got to let me help you make things right with you and Lori.
Taylor Lautner.
Oh, yeah, that was a weird interview.
That's your choice, John.
are we still going to smoke that pot?
Is he all mine, Daddy?
I lost my job, my apartment and my life.
Hey, wanna go out.
It's unwatchable.
you've been a part of our family for quite some time.
JOHN: Shit!
Look, all I'm saying is that Boston women are, on the whole,
I will tell you. You got me?
Fuck!
Yes.
means that they are that bad.
Ming?
Have you ever considered selling the bear?
making yourself look like a pussy.
Illumination!
And there he was, picking her up.
(EXCLAIMING FEARFULLY)
With my top-of-the-pyramid Caucasian genes and your splash of
I just wanted John and I to be friends.
niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers niggers
Yeah. Yeah, work's good.
Oh, man!
All right, I love you.
Sometimes I think back to that Christmas morning
Death to Ming!
You know you're never alone When you're with Christ
JOHN: Fucking stop! Fuck!
It begins in 1985. We're in a nice town just outside Boston! Dude, do you believe it? I miss Boston! Jesus, please help us travel to Boston!
You know, if your leg got trapped under a rock
Keemstar Dine-Stupid-Maddy!
I don't have to. I'm a fucking hedgehog.
and I would love it if you would go with me.
that one boy in every neighborhood
Lori, you didn't mean that. No, no,no.
But will you take care of me forever and ever?
Now I'm going to stuff my fucking face with Pepperidge Farm!
And, you know, I don't blame you.