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without his teddy bear.
Lori, the worst that can happen
Did you just call me a whore?
And it kills me to have to tell you no, because I'm a people pleaser.
It was Christmas Eve, and all the children were in high spirits.
an absolute death machine.
Please.
I'm alive. Your magical wish worked!
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Crap!
Good, good. Let's see. How about we...
Alex Potenza Smallest penis in the world
(GRUNTING)
Why mention it? No one will.
No you don't. You look dapper.
Cw!
I just don't have the money right now.
See, the fact that you have to say it’s not that bad, means it’s that bad
Do you know what just happened?
When Peter Griffin wanted to turn himself back to normal.
No. That's a weird fucking question. No, just start counting.
ted ted
TED: Johnny, I'm sorry, man. That car just came out of nowhere.
(RIPPING)
(LAUGHING)
for something that you did to yourself.
TED: Play Chopsticks, you jazzy slut.
You know what, John, we asked Ted to move out
The name has to have a "ski" at the end of it
Not looking up your towel. Not looking at your funny business.
Uh, no, no, I'm not.
I guess this is it, huh?
We're an all time high
Not the lobster, the guy running it.
No way, that's awesome! Yeah.
Hey.
For some reason I thought you were going to be taller.
I am a citizen of the United States of America
What?
Okay, take it easy. Nice, Lori, real nice.
Gonna cry Kid
Well, most guys don't have you to motivate them.
...the most important part of your life.
(LAUGHS) All right, knock it off!
A little heavy on the eye makeup, but pretty good.
@MEMECREAMSUPREME. I REALLY HATE THAT SONG AND IT'S SO HORRIBLE!! BUT I RESPECT YOUR OPINION.
We had no such rule.
LADY AND THE TRAMP (BRAKES SCREECHING)
You walking home alone, huh?
John and Lori were married in Cambridge
Illumination!
You're the one who wished for it, aren't you?
(GROANS)
This is art. Get it?
(GRUNTS) You look a little flustered.
Flash jump.
(SIGHS)
That was 150 years ago and I don't give a shit.
Greatest night ever!
But just listen to me for five seconds.
No, Lori's from Pennsylvania. That's not a Boston girl.
dieter and enriques vaginae show is coming to peacock so we can say fuck shit bitch ass penis cock cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits pussy damn and more swears
Put it on my fuzzy finger, you fuck! Come on!
You owe my lobster money.
That's a great story I felt like I was there
ROBERT: No!
Stand up straight when you're talking to me.
It's going to be all right.
そうそう! クリス・ブラウンは悪いことをするはずがない!
Well, as it does every year, Christmas morning finally came.
You remember I said my buddy's cousin is friends with Sam Jones?
Yeah, because of me!
This is art, get it
I just thought we were saying funny names.
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
Teddy-Rux-Fucking-pin
'
I could totally see him just taking you down to the basement
Jesus, Guy, you look like shit, man. What happened?
Teddy-Rux-Mother-Fucking-pin
I just barely outbid Phil Donahue for that at auction.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Fucking Jesus fucking Christ! God fucking damn it!
Going to USMA with a rock
expecting something big, do you?
"I went to New York once in 1981, and I just did not feel safe."
Chuck E. Cheese's. What is a tweeting thing that I can talk about?
Oh, hey, listen, try this.
and a magical Christmas wish
Well, hello there.
No one but the pure in heart Can find the golden grail
Well, let me put it this way.
Okay, so I'm having a little impromptu thing
Me and Ted are going to be best friends, Daddy.
Fucking Becky?
No, it's blocked.
Haha blink if you want help
(SIGHS)
Johnny, thank Christ you made it.
Can you just email me The rest of this story?
JOHN: Jesus.
Listen, I don't want you to think that...
and for showing up late today, all right?
I need to talk to you.
Illumination!
I love my family You all smell
It's a special night. We've been dating for four years.
Yeah, up the dog's, not the fireman's ass.
and I just want you to know that I love you for it,
Still better than Katy Perry.
Get out of here, Bennett.
Oh, man!
You get the job, we're celebrating after, okay?
Illumination!
I need to tell you something.
Jesus H. Fuck!
Shit!
Should I sit?
Okay, all right, so that's where we'll draw the line.
One afternoon, Ted was caught behind the deli counter
All I want is... I just want to end on good terms.
I'm promoting you.
Good luck. Thank you.
Italian. Italian, yes.
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Harder, Harder I’m gonna go stuff my fucking face with Pepbridge Farms
Teddy-Rux-Fucking-pin
Because I love you.
You can do any '90s song with just vowels.
You earned yourself a timeout young man sitting the naughty Corner I'll
That's pretty much it.
Don't! Get it away from me!
Turns out I'm gay, or whatever.
Well, we should fucking double-date, or something.
A-E-I-O-U
TED: Johnny, where are you? You got to get over here, man.
That took guts We need guts
He's a bear.
I'm going to show you something that I don't like to show people
JOHN'S MOM: Listen to your father! Come here!
You know what? You’re acting like a cock. You know that?
Fuck you Haden you can suck my dick
You can thank Ted.
BOTH: One, two, three!
Look, I'm sorry, I messed up...