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Come on, dudes. Don't tell me you never done it before.
Oh, my God!
No, I can't do that. That would devastate him.
You guys know Lori and Jim, right?
Ted!
Just go out with me one time.
John, it's almost 10:00.
Oh, I'm all right. I'm just getting used to things, that's all.
All right, here's your keys, your rental agreement,
So you think you got what it takes?
You can put the ring in her ass, let her fart it out.
I'm 35 years old and I'm going nowhere.
Did you hurt your head?
And then when we saw it fall from the tree,
Then at 10:55 got a text from the same person saying, “thanks”
Fuck Shit Bitch Faggot Cock Dick Penis
Can you call him back?
Teddy?
But as long as he's got his teddy bear,
I know, sir, I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault.
Rex, I have a lot of work I need to get to.
papa stone *could* do that!
Mom, Dad, guess what. My teddy bear's alive!
That special time of year
I've been bumming around with Ted too much. I know that, too.
Stay here. Just stay there! No, John!
that changed his life forever.
and bring a friend up to the stage.
Thanks so much for coming.
SMASH BROS MARIO MAKER FURRYING GAME!
Teddy-Rux-Fucking-pin
Yes! He did it!
I'm a kook.
Hello? Hello, John?
(STAMMERS)
Johnny, I'm...
It's okay, I'll drive you. I feel fine.
when I was eight years old.
You know what? Fuck you. I don't even want to talk to you.
Come on, it's not that bad.
This is Jared. He's the guy who beat me up.
I'm going to name you Teddy.
Jesus, this is weak.
Because I'm only going to need one.
In Ted, John says he wishes he had gotten a Teddy Ruxpin instead of Ted when angered at one point in the film.
I know. Try not to get lost. Come on in.
What?
(TIRES SCREECHING)
so we can give ourselves a chance without him.
and Cherene's pretty ballsy.
They must feel awful. The live ones must feel awful.
44 cats
I'm sorry to bother you
(SINGING)
in the audience who he loves very much.
My buddy's in town with his cousin,
Thanks, man, it's all IKEA.
Hey there.
Yeah.
Thank you for creeping up my night.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
They Save-Ums! May 18 2029 Ranted R
(GRUNTING)
(COUGHS)
Okay, be there in a second, baby.
Did you ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm?
All you've got to do is not fuck up.
Go to your room right now, and sleep until you have learned your lesson.
Okay, come on. Ever!
Are we having homosexuals over for dinner tonight?
Teddy-Rux-Fucking-pin
I saw you on television.
Chuck E. Cheese’s is a natural and nasty on Spotify Where a kid can be a kid
Lori, I've wanted to give this to you for a long time.
...a shit on my floor.
Thanks for getting our hopes up and taking a giant shit on us.
Yeah, I know, right?
And he said, "No."
You want to come over and catch a buzz?
vete no quiero hablar contigo
Listen, speaking of classy,
It'll be great when it's furnished.
Lori, why don't you like me? Ugh!
it was actually really unfair of him to embarrass you like that.
You can put the ring in her ass let ger fart it out
why the fuck would she say that?
Hey.
Hey, Johnny! Total T.J. Hooker, right?
C for Cocaine
Why did you have to take it there?
so you can pay for an apartment.
See? There, proof. Garfield's eyes look like a pair of tits.
He said "no," he was going to stay there with you, and I twisted his arm, Lori.
Nice. Good, huh? Good job.
(BOTH IMITATE FARTING)
Thank you for being so honest.
(COUGHS)
mas mas dame mas asi oh
Trust me. I love you.
I thought the fireman stuck his own finger up his own ass.
(SINGING)
The ladies and I were just watching Jack and Jill.
So I’m a little beep up
(SINGING) Flash!
Cocaine, right?
God, there are some fucked-up fish out there.
and that humanity can no longer fulfill its desires
Breanna, Amber, Sabrina, Melody,
Give it a couple of hours. You'll be golden, Ponyboy.
Flash Gordon. Quarterback, New York Jets.
Thank you for creeping up my night
He's going to sing a song to a special lady
(SIGHS) All right.
What do you got there?
All I ever wanted was you, John Bennett.
That’s a weird fucking thing to say
John, Flash Gordon was the most important influence of our formative years.
I’m not gay
That’s lucky
But I want to wait until I get you something really special.
No, not really feeling up to it.
Really? 'Cause that's not what I heard.
Jesus fucking Christ!
Caillou Gets Fucking Grounded
on top of the produce that we sell to the public.
I wish i had just gotten a Rocky Rodent.
Fuck it. Bring it in. Come here.
Yeah!
Tom Brady could do that.
It's all right, go, go, go. I'll pull out of here.
You know what, I think I, too, want a Martina Navrati-brewski.
Why the fuck would he say that?
No. Yeah. No.
Sounds good to me.
(ENGINE REVVING)
He's the only reason I ever gained any fucking confidence.
You have to understand, I had no friends before he came along.
You promised me this was about work.
Couple of Brew-stoyevskis?
Probably, yes.
and we had awkward fuzzy sex in the coatroom.
through the power of wishes.
someday, there's going to be a ring in there.
Bring it in, you bastard. Come on.
Well, that's... It's a factor.
Yeah, she's pretty shook up.
(IN BOSTON ACCENT) Oh, yeah, oh, yeah! Harder! Harder!
Hey, Alix, what's up? You get in the club last night?
Otherwise, where's the challenge?
I could kick your fucking ass.
That's 'cause everyone's mouth is usually full of your wife's box.