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and beat up the Jewish kids.
Ugh!
Polly Joe
John, I look like something you give your kid
(FARTING)
A-E-I-O-U
Ow! I hate that word!
Oh, jeez, here we go.
NARRATOR: John was just about the happiest boy in the world
Son of a bitch!
NARRATOR: John became instantly attached to Teddy.
Is that a Flash Gordon ray gun,
Are you kidding me?
Tom Brady could do that. Tom Brady could do that!
When your husband is bringing his brother to Alaska and is excited to show him a good time, but you know he doesn’t like any of that shit
Let's all be best friends.
Jb byride How do you drive in a Taco Bell hand dryer you're grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded ground
You're my best friend, John.
A professional NFL player is called upon to save the world.
Oh, Jesus.
But I'm talking about a mature relationship, Lori.
Whoa, whoa! Stop, stop! That's them, turn around!
Johnny. It's me.
I’ll pick you up at 8:00.
Insanely busy
Old Tom Brady could do that. Old Tom Brady COULD do that
Hey there, fella. How are you?
I told him to bail on you that night at Rex's and he said, "No."
Yeah, cool.
No, that doesn't work.
with some people at my apartment.
Get lost, Bennett!
(STAPLING) Ah!
I have so much teddy bear paperwork I have to get to, it is sick.
Fine, John, but this is, I swear to God, your last chance.
Huh? Meat hole? What?
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Go! Go!Go!
How long have we been saying we were going to...
Thanks, Flash.
This bullshit! This all bullshit!
But I made friends in the line.
Teddy-Rux-Fucking-pin
Johnny.
Yeah But You Have No Skills
Illumination! Illumination!?!?!
Cars!
You would?
I know what you did with Ted wasn't easy,
Why, what's going on?
I guess Santa paid attention to how good you were this year, huh?
Yeah.
Shit, I got to get to work!
That's a nice fucking example you're setting...
Nice. Yeah.
Go on, spark it up.
Besides, what if he chose Ted?
We better start doing stupid shit.
Screw you, pal. I belong to John Bennett.
Yeah?
The Save-Ums! Reboot (2030) Coming Soon In
Oh, my God! He's going to jump! Get closer.
you put some of the stuffing in the wrong places
(MOUTHING) Tom Skerritt! Wow!
I have to say, I've been following you ever since I was a young boy
This is the American fantasy, right here.
Yeah, I'm guessing you guys don't have a PS3.
Hi. Hi.
A cushy, $38,000-a-year branch manager
Look, I'm going to cut the shit, here.
(SINGING)
has an extremely broad definition.
eventually, nobody gives a shit.
I’m not gay.
Mutiny!
the boys sucks! final destination rocks!
Octopussy.
What's your opinion on The Boys? My opinion: It's awesome
For God's sakes.
Hello?
I GOT FUCKING WASTED LAST NIGHT.
Dude, I got 10 minutes. Where's Flash Gordon?
Holy shit.
Dude, one man to another. I got you on this.
why the fuck would she say that
Where's my ring, motherfucker? Stop it. Come on!
Come on, Robert.
I'm just trying to find a way to keep you both in my life.
Okay. You hide first.
He thought ALF was Jewish for some reason.
(GRUNTING)
John, I need a man. Not a little boy with a teddy bear.
Jeaus h heck
Illumination
I will, sir, I promise.
Okay, now you count to 100, and then you try to find me, okay?
Are you okay? (GROANING)
By the power vested in me
Look, the point is, you're blaming me
Just grab your thunder buddy And say these magic words
I look stupid.
You coming down?
Finally.
My dick is squished by the TV.
Really? Well, isn't that exciting.
No. It's fine.
Pats Pats
Now, I have to give you an ouch.
That must have slipped through the cracks.
(SINGING)
Ted, you mean everything to me, and so does Lori.
while singing some creepy Victorian nursery rhyme.
Teddy-Rux-Fucking-pin
How great is this? The four of us out to dinner.
yeah what ever thanks for pearl harbor
I fucked her with a parsnip last week
Just to be clear, I'm not embarrassed.
She's making you do it, isn't she?
Ted and Tami-Lynn continued their torrid love affair for quite some time.
(LAUGHING) Right? Yeah, she gets it.
that's a weird fucking question
LOOK AT ALL THISE VAGINAESBOBOBOOOOS LET ME FUCK YAYASYAYAYAYAYAYA
Fuck you, Shoreman!
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
I gotta cut out for a bit.
Why did Mario helps Steven future saved the day
You were just wonderful.
So, talk to me, Johnny Quest. How are things with you and Lori?
TED: That's my bad. I was sending a tweet.
Because of that, I just lost the love of my life.
Lori, wait, please.
You can't get me, thunder 'Cause you're just God's farts
Oh, man. Here, let me get you some ice.
merry christmas you fucking whore! now lets fucking fuck you bitches!
I'm with Lori here. I'm already on probation.
Just like in the movie.
Did the whole place for $47.
Teddy rux hecking pin
These were John Lennon's glasses.
but I don't want you to do that.
Huh?
I sure would.
Lori.
Get him!
I'd chew it off to get you free.
I don't give a shit because is 2 $99 you ask me I say no.
Illumination! Yeah illumination!
You're my best friend, Sam.
LORI: All right, here we go.
Tell him we said…
Hey Teddy Bear Are You? Are You All Right?
I'm not going to wait any longer for my life to start.
I'm guessing you're more of a "wooden horse with a wig" kind of family.
Please play nice.
Just give me the car keys.
You know what? I don't feel like talking to you about this.
Do I need to wash my hands before I play this game?
most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. Ever.
and he couldn't wait to tell everyone the good news.
Teddy Rux-fucking-pin
Look, I'm only saying this because I love you.
Is that a shit?
there is a shit on my floor!
Ow! Fuck! Cocksucker!
Huh.
"Or is the floor on the shit?" is what Kierkegaard would say.
The night we met.
Encesta Karem!... Encesta Karem!...
Come on, I do not sound that much like Peter Griffin.
This is the theme song from the movie Octopussy.