Two and a Half Men
TV-14
Two and a Half Men is an American television sitcom that originally aired on CBS for twelve seasons from September 22, 2003 to February 19, 2015. Originally starring Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones, the series was about a hedonistic jing ...
Season 1
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #0 | Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #1 | Pilot (380 clips) | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | Big Flappy Bastards (336 clips) | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap (325 clips) | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump (289 clips) | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful (290 clips) | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | Phase One, Complete (330 clips) | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | Merry Thanksgiving | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor (295 clips) | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | Camel Filters and Pheromones | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | Sarah Like Puny Alan | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | I Can't Afford Hyenas | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #16 | That Was Saliva, Alan | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #17 | Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #18 | An Old Flame with a New Wick | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #19 | I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #20 | Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #21 | No Sniffing, No Wowing | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #22 | My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #23 | Just Like Buffalo | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #24 | Can You Feel My Finger | 22 Sep 2003 |
Season 2
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #1 | Back Off Mary Poppins | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | Enjoy Those Garlic Balls | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | A Bag Full of Jawea | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | Go Get Mommy's Bra | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | Bad News from the Clinic | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | Yes, Monsignor | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | The Salmon Under My Sweater | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | Last Chance to See Those Tattoos | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | A Lung Full of Alan | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | Those Big Pink Things with Coconut | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | Smell the Umbrella Stand | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #16 | Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #17 | Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam! | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #18 | It Was Mame, Mom | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #19 | A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #20 | I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #21 | A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #22 | That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #23 | Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #24 | Does This Smell Funny to You | 22 Sep 2003 |
Season 3
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | We Called It Mr. Pinky | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | Hi, Mr. Horned One | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | That Voodoo That I Do Do | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | Madame and Her Special Friend | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | Something Salted and Twisted | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | Santa's Village of the Damned | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | That Special Tug | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | Humiliation Is a Visual Medium | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | My Tongue Is Meat | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #16 | Ergo, the Booty Call | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #17 | The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #18 | The Spit-Covered Cobbler | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #19 | Golly Moses, She's a Muffin | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #20 | Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #21 | And the Plot Moistens | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #22 | Just Once with Aunt Sophie | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #23 | Arguments for the Quickie | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #24 | That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite | 22 Sep 2003 |
Season 4
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #1 | Working for Caligula | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | Who's Vod Kanockers | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | A Pot Smoking Monkey | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | A Live Woman of Proven Fertility | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | Apologies for the Frivolity | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | Release the Dogs | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | Corey's Been Dead for an Hour | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | Kissing Abraham Lincoln | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | Walnuts and Demerol | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | Castrating Sheep in Montana | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | Don't Worry, Speed Racer | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | My Damn Stalker | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #16 | Young People Have Phlegm Too | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #17 | I Merely Slept with a Commie | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #18 | It Never Rains in Hooterville | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #19 | Smooth as a Ken Doll | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #20 | Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #21 | Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #22 | Mr. McGlue's Feedbag | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #23 | Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #24 | Prostitutes and Gelato | 22 Sep 2003 |
Season 5
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #1 | Large Birds, Spiders and Mom | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | Media Room Slash Dungeon | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | City of Great Racks | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | Putting Swim Fins on a Cat | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | Help Daddy Find His Toenail | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | Is There a Mrs. Waffles? | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | Kinda Like Necrophilia | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | Meander to Your Dander | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | The Soil is Moist | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | Winky-Dink Time | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | Rough Night in Hump Junction | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #16 | Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #17 | Fish in a Drawer | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #18 | If My Hole Could Talk | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #19 | Waiting for the Right Snapper | 22 Sep 2003 |
Season 6
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taterhead Is Our Love Child | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | Pie Hole, Herb | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | Damn You, Eggs Benedict | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | The Flavin' and the Mavin' | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | A Jock Strap in Hell | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | It's Always Nazi Week | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | Best H.O. Money Can Buy | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | Pinocchio's Mouth | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | The Mooch at the Boo | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | The Devil's Lube | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | Thank God for Scoliosis | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | I Think You Offended Don | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | I'd Like to Start with the Cat | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #16 | She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #17 | The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #18 | My Son's Enormous Head | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #19 | The Two Finger Rule | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #20 | Hello, I am Alan Cousteau | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #21 | Above Exalted Cyclops | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #22 | Sir Lancelot's Litter Box | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #23 | Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #24 | Baseball Was Better with Steroids | 22 Sep 2003 |
Season 7
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #1 | 818-jklpuzo | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | Whipped Unto the Third Generation | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | Mmm, Fish. Yum. | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | For the Sake of the Child | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | Give Me Your Thumb | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | Untainted by Filth | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room' | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | Warning, It's Dirty | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | Yay, No Polyps | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | Crude and Uncalled For | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | Aye, Aye, Captain Douche | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #16 | Tinkle Like a Princess | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #17 | I Found Your Moustache | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #18 | Ixnay on the Oggie Day | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #19 | Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #20 | I Called Him Magoo | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #21 | Gumby with a Pokey | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #22 | This Is Not Gonna End Well | 22 Sep 2003 |
Season 8
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #1 | Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | A Pudding-Filled Cactus | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | Hookers, Hookers, Hookers | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | Twanging Your Magic Clanger | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | The Crazy Bitch Gazette | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | Springtime on a Stick | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | A Good Time in Central Africa | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | Ow, Ow, Don't Stop | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | Dead from the Waist Down | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | Lookin' for Japanese Subs | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #16 | That Darn Priest | 22 Sep 2003 |
Season 9
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | People Who Love Peepholes | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | Big Girls Don't Throw Food | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | Nine Magic Fingers | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | A Giant Cat Holding a Churro | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | The Squat and the Hover | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | Those Fancy Japanese Toilets | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | Thank You for the Intercourse | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | Frodo's Headshots | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | What a Lovely Landing Strip | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | One False Move, Zimbabwe! | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | Slowly and in a Circular Fashion | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | A Possum on Chemo | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #16 | Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #17 | Not in My Mouth! | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #18 | The War Against Gingivitis | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #19 | Palmdale, Ech | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #20 | Grandma's Pie | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #21 | Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #22 | Why We Gave Up Women | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #23 | The Straw in My Donut Hole | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #24 | Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! | 22 Sep 2003 |
Season 10
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Changed My Mind About the Milk | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | A Big Bag of Dog | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | Ferrets, Attack! | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | Avoid the Chinese Mustard | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | Something My Gynecologist Said | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | I Scream When I Pee | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | One Nut Johnson | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | Give Santa a Tail-Hole | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | Welcome to Alancrest | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | Grab a Feather and Get in Line | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | Run, Steven Staven! Run! | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #16 | Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #17 | Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #18 | The 9:04 from Pemberton | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #19 | Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #20 | Bazinga! That's From a TV Show | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #21 | Another Night with Neil Diamond | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #22 | My Bodacious Vidalia | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #23 | Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped | 22 Sep 2003 |
Season 11
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nangnangnangnang | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | I Think I Banged Lucille Ball | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | This Unblessed Biscuit | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | Tazed in the Lady Nuts | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | Bite Me, Supreme Court | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #16 | How to Get Rid of Alan Harper | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #17 | Welcome Home, Jake | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #18 | West Side Story | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #19 | Lan mao shi zai wuding shang | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #20 | Lotta Delis in Little Armenia | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #21 | Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #22 | Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead | 22 Sep 2003 |
Season 12
| Episode | Title | Released |
|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Ol' Mexican Spinach | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #2 | A Chic Bar in Ibiza | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #3 | Glamping in a Yurt | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #4 | Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #5 | Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #6 | Alan Shot a Little Girl | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #7 | Sex with an Animated Ed Asner | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #8 | Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #9 | Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #10 | Here I Come, Pants! | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #11 | For Whom the Booty Calls | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #12 | A Beer-Battered Rip-Off | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #13 | Boompa Loved His Hookers | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #14 | Don't Give a Monkey a Gun | 22 Sep 2003 |
| #15 | Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2 | 22 Sep 2003 |